The Importance of Learned Independence

The launch to college is frightening for the student and their parents.  The swirl of needing to be perfect permeates all logical awareness of the student’s abilities and talents.  Even those of us who are trained and work with students who have emerging executive functions that will continue to strengthen during college can become overwhelmed with the uncertainty and media attention that seems to indicate that good enough is not necessarily good enough.  So, the question, that we all face as parents, is how we motivate and support our children to be their academic best without overstepping into territory where we, or someone we hired, is doing the work for them.

The solution that we believe is necessary for lasting success in school and life is learned independence.  We are combining the “do your work” logic of previous generations with the 21st century neuroscience, education, and technology to allow students to skillset necessary to independently match their developing executive functions (planning, organizing, time managing, initiating, inhibiting, shifting, developing working memory, and self-monitoring.) 

Our children aren’t less aware, but they are becoming less resilient.  We don’t ask them to dig in and fix things for themselves, move them to less rigorous classes if they can’t keep up, or suggest that while they are smart enough for a particular program, don’t yet have the maturity or desire to independently succeed; instead we hire help.  That seems fine until the next step in their academic pursuits doesn’t offer all of the extra help, then what?

Rather than paying for people or places that convince our children that they can’t be successful without support, we should be looking for specialists who can help our children learn how they can plan, organize, manage and produce their work most accurately and efficiently.  Professionals who help students develop learned independence offer an exit strategy in their work.  We owe our children the respect of supporting their successes and failures without letting our anxiety stop them from trying, sometimes failing, but ultimately becoming the resilient adults that they deserve to become.