The Lessons of 2020
As we finally say goodbye to 2020 and look forward to the hope that 2021 brings, I thought it would be interesting to ask my students what their 2020 resolution would be if they could go back with all of the knowledge of the year. So, my question was, “Now that you have lived through 2020, what would be your New Year’s resolution if you could time travel back to 1/1/20 and give yourself your best advice?” I was happily surprised by their answers.
In retrospect, I could have predicted which students would adapt to distance learning and which would struggle. How they did academically, was not part of the answer that I received from most of the students which pleases me. Prior to the pandemic, our children were heavily focused on the “perfect” resume for college or ruminating on what they weren’t doing correctly for that “perfect” resume. For children with executive dysfunction, perfection should never be about grades, but instead, about consistency and follow through. It appears that the pandemic gave time for that or for an accurate view of where that consistency and follow through is needing attention. Many/most are struggling with some or many aspects of school and life routines, but they have also learned in ways we didn’t expect.
I was thrilled with their answers that demonstrated amazing self-awareness and self-respect. The most common responses, while often vailed in “teen speak” were incredibly self-aware and reassuring. Many students responded with answers like get outside, exercise, and spend as much time as possible with your friends. Several students said start planning, you are going to need it or don’t get behind on work. Some said become more consistent with checking email, or get more comfortable with reaching out to teachers. But most inspiring was be kind to yourself, this isn’t going to be quick or easy.
The pandemic has been neither quick nor easy for anyone, but some feel that our children are most impacted by distance learning and social distancing. Many are referring to school since March as the lost year, and we know that anxiety and depression are at an all time high for our children, yet their responses suggest hope and self-care. Life has changed over the last several months, and with that, we need to be comfortable with doing the best we can in any situation. School demands aren’t what they once were, but with perspectives like I heard from the students whom I questioned, this year is not lost.
Many more children may have realized their resilience during this time and will ultimately be better for it. Brene Brown states that, “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” Our children showing up, vulnerable and self-aware, has been a silver lining to this pandemic. Oddly, distance has made their strengths and vulnerabilities, abilities, and inabilities clearer and yet their responses to my question were, more often than not, positive.
2021 will offer us a vaccine to re-stabilize our communities. For children, it offers the promise of moving back to in-person school. As in-person classes resume, it is my hope that students use all they learned about their ability to work and learn independently to build a study and support model that offers them their greatest success. Adults can celebrate our children’s increased self-awareness and resilience. And we can all be happy that, despite its lessons, 2020 is behind us. Happy New Year to everyone reading, and I hope that you have a resolution of hope and community as you begin the year.