Progress Check-in
April showers bring…us to the last quarter of the school year? Okay, that’s not how the saying goes, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Hopefully this has been a fantastic school year for your child, replete with good study habits and good grades. If so, congratulations! If not, then it’s time for a check-in to help find strategies to finish strong.
Checking in with your child
How we frame the conversation with our children can make a big difference in how we as parents are heard. As an example, when homework is consistently late and grades suffer as a result, repeated criticism can lead to defensiveness and cause tension at home. Approaching the conversation as an observation rather than a judgement can help foster a willingness to partner and engage in problem-solving behavior.
“I’ve noticed that you’ve been very stressed lately; I’ve noticed that getting homework done on time has been a real challenge. How are you feeling about all of this?”
“I don’t want you to feel this way anymore, what do you think about trying something different that will make it a lot easier for you?”
“What are some strategies that you think might help that you haven’t tried yet?”
Checking in with the teacher
Of course, as parents we don’t necessarily have a continuum of strategies at our fingertips. Fortunately, there’s someone who does – your child’s teacher or special educator.
Does your child have an IEP or 504 Plan? Review it, either formally or informally. Are /they using their accommodations? If they are, are these accommodations working effectively? If not, why not?
How does your child’s teacher view their progress/lack of progress? Do they have suggestions to help finish out the year stronger?
If your child is middle-school aged or older, involve them in the discussion with the teacher. If they are in high school, coach them to lead the discussion and be receptive to new ideas. Self-advocacy may be the missing ingredient that makes the difference.
Positive Reinforcement
Finally, and especially if there has been a lot of tension at home over grades and study habits, discuss plans for new strategies and goals in a positive light. There is nothing wrong with a little positive reinforcement for goals that are met, whatever form this may take to be meaningful to your child. Studies have shown that positive behavioral reinforcement can be a more effective motivational tool than the threat of negative consequences. This is especially true for a child who feels they have exhausted all of their options and can’t see a path to success. If it helps, think of this as chunking out manageable goals with timelines, just as you would a homework assignment, and tying those goals to bonuses, just as you would at work.